Still trying

Yes, there's this resentment I hold. This anger I keep inside which cannot be helped.

I mean why wasn't I given the chance to do exactly what you do?

To have fun like you do.

To have the friends like you do.

To have the family like you do.

To feel appreciated like you are.

To be attractive like you are.

To be happy like you are.

And I ask myself why, why was I unable to have these things? You see, we haven't got control over how life unfolds, we can't prevent the way certain things happen to us. We cannot control fate and what it wants us to see. So what's the point of planning things when it never goes to plan?

When I look back on all of the things I've been through I'm shocked, I never spoke to any of my friends about it because they can't do anything and tbh, I might as well keep it to myself. Reflecting on what I survived in the past makes me realise that I must show myself a sense of gratitude, a sense of praise that's I am still here today, being able to type this because somehow I made it through. So I see my situation now and the battles I am fighting and think surely I can get through this too, I can try to, keep a smile on my face and hold onto hope because it can't last forever.

Hopefully it won't last forever…

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