My craving for ‘something’

Long time no speak!

Well it’s only been a week and a bit but it feels like ages.

Gosh I’ve missed this blog and I’m sorry that I haven’t been writing as much as I should be. Revision for A levels are taking over my liiffeeee ):

So I wanted to share with you guys something that has been on my mind for a while.

What’s the point of getting into something that isn’t going to last?

I know so many people in relationships right now and I won’t lie, sometimes I wish I had someone I was with. It’s annoying because I always get asked “So Roxy how’s your love life?” or “are you talking to anyone”. And my reply is either “shit” or “no” :/

I STILL have that same stupid crush on that guy in my college. He probably has a girlfriend or something, I mean there’s nooooo way he’d go for someone like me so I don’t see why I haven’t gotten over it yet. I think about the whole thing way too much, it’s just so unnecessary and irrelevant to my life, why won’t the thoughts and feelings go the fuck awaay!!! His name appears everywhere which doesn’t help, why does that always happen? When you like someone you suddenly see their name everywhere -__-.

Sometimes I think I won’t be good for anyone, the feelings are just never mutual. Well I’ve only liked 3 guys properly, one of them was close to a relationship but I broke it off before that thank God. That guy was sooo immature fuck knows what I was thinking. I know I’m still young so there’s no rush as I have plenty of time to find someone but when you’re surrounded around people who share something and feel like you’ll never have that, it hurts.

However, when I think about it would I even have time for a relationship? I have so much on my hands right now I probably won’t be as committed.

What’s the point of getting into something that may not last? 

Most people break up before going to uni and it makes me wonder why people waste time on something that will just be temporary? What’s the point of devoting your time and affection to someone that you know won’t stick around, you’ll fall in love with each other, enjoy each others company until one day one of you is no longer around. Is it worth going through the heartbreak, loneliness and emptiness once you’re not with that person any more? Having all those memories that linger in your mind and always missing that person, is it worth it? I guess you might find a reason to say yes because it’s a part of your life, at least you can say it HAPPENED but when you think about the after effects it might make you reconsider. 

Stop searching for love. Don’t think that your life will be ONLY be complete by having a boyfriend or whatever. Enjoy your life and have fun! You have so much time to find the right person, there’s always a reason behind why things don’t work out the way you want it to. You never know the trouble someone could bring into your life so don’t fight with fate and just let things be.

I guess I should learn to love myself before I love anyone else….

Love from,

Roxy xoxo

P.S I WILL DO THE AWARDS SOON I PROMISE I’M LATE AF I KNOW BUT I WILL DO THEM.

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