Everything happens for a reason. Yeah everything happens for a reason but it’s so hard to believe that the reason is good enough for the shittest things to happen.
So I was going through my snapchat and I saw my “ex” friendship group, “ex” best friends, “ex” squad whatever you want to call it. There were six of us – me, Bella, Stacey, Chantelle, Louise and Kayla until I left the group after summer. We didn’t have an argument or anything the worse thing happened, my mum went through my phone:/ She read some of the messages on our group chat and she wasn’t happy with what was said (I looked at it and it wasn’t even bad but my mum blows everything out of proportion all the time) she was really pissed and asked me why I would even hang out with these type of people. Now those words really got to me because I started to question why I actually did. I think out of all of them I felt the most distant from them and they noticed that too, I guess they didn’t see things how I did, a different way of thinking I suppose. For this reason I thought it would have been better for me to just leave the group not only because of my mum but because I I thought it’d be better for me too, maybe I could benefit from it. We’re still friends but we just don’t talk that much any more.
I watched some of their snapchat stories and they were at Bella’s house opening gifts they bought for each other. It was really weird because they actually did Secret Santa. WE NEVER did things like that when I was in the group and I ALWAYS wanted to do things like that. It made me a bit sad, I won’t deny it that’s why I’m making this post in the first place. Oh I’ve been replaced too but it was bound to happen anyway. My close friend Patricia messaged me yesterday about it saying she was so angry because it was awful for them to even consider replacing me. It was pretty much inevitable and I was well aware of it from the start. Stacy’s has a close friend called Sophie, you could practically consider her to be Stacy’s sister as they’re that close. We’re all friends with her, now that they all go to the same college and she has taken my place in the group doesn’t surprise me at all.
It sucks. I won’t lie because it does. The fact that I don’t belong to a group any more makes me feel like crap sometimes. I can feel so isolated from everyone because they’ve all got their own circle and I don’t. I mean yeah I speak to a lot of people and I have friends but it’s not the same. Me leaving their group benefited them more than myself when I think about it, they seem more happy – they’re together more but I don’t despise it all, I’m happy for them. I hope they stay that way.
Maybe they’ve been taken out of my life so better people can enter? Maybe they wasn’t supposed to stay in my life because that happens. People come and go, that’s life. I keep thinking of all the possibilities of why this has happened because EVERYTHING DOES HAPPEN FOR A REASON. Well I may be kidding myself when I think that I’ll eventually find a group I feel like I can belong to but for now it’s okay. It’s okay that that I don’t feel like I’m not apart something because I may not be now, but I may in the future. Let me be grateful and appreciative of the people I have in my life at this very moment and for the people who have stuck around- that’s what matters.