Nothing’s gonna change

Next week will officially be 2016, am I excited? No lol. Excited for what? A new year where I continue to hate myself, my life and everything. I feel like it’s just a whole new year for more bullshit to occur. I hate being negative but I need to get this all out.

The older I become, the more I start to despise life. Everything feels like it’s getting worse, I feel so worthless. What purpose do I have on this earth? I’m not suicidal I’m just struggling to understand why I even exist.

For someone who does good I’ve have a pretty shit life. I’ve never bullied anyone and I’m always kind yet I see people who are the complete opposite to me and are enjoying life happily regardless of  them being a horrible human being. How the hell is this fair? That most good people in this world suffer the most, it’s really unfair.

I feel like everyone’s enjoying their teen years except for me. It saddens me to think that it’s just been a waste, I wasn’t given the opportunity to make the most of it. I keep telling myself that in a few years I’ll actually be happy and I’ll be enjoying life but what if I’m not. Yup, I’m probably giving myself false hope when I’m thinking that things are gonna get any easier.

Roxy xo

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3 thoughts on “Nothing’s gonna change

  1. LyfWithEm says:

    I feel this way. Pretty much my whole 2015 was shit and taken over by death and mental illness. My anxiety and panic attacks got really bad and it still is. So that’s horrible, which means I don’t go out. Everyone else is enjoying their lives except me because I’m too scared to. Anyway, you haven’t wasted. We haven’t wasted it. There’s just been hurdles we’ve had to overcome. And it WILL get easier, I promise you. Ok, maybe not for a while, or maybe next week, but in time they will. Always have hope, it’s the one thing that gets you through the hard times.

    Liked by 1 person

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