You can’t help everyone.

It’s true. You can’t. No matter how much good you have in your heart you can’t solve everyone’s problems even if you want to. Some things are out of your control and sometimes it isn’t your responsibility to solve them.

One of my neighbours Lauren is going through some rough times. I feel like I should have been there for her more during my time at school.  She ended up changing schools and going to my one and she hated it. She didn’t like the change one bit. I went to school with her every morning until she kept being late all the time so I gave up. I did my best to check up on her in school and see if she was doing okay but honestly, I was so busy during that period I didn’t even have time to focus on myself let alone other people so I didn’t even do that much but maybe I still could have done more.

After coming home with my step dad we saw Lauren’s mum. A very kind and heart warming woman, she really wants her children to have a better life than she did and you can see that. Lauren’s mum and her dad have been separated for long time now. It’s really sad because when they moved here they were one happy family, Lauren’s parents, herself and her sister Chantelle. When we was young we used to be really close, her mum or dad would take us places which was really fun but as time went, we slowly drifted apart and went our separate ways. Whenever we see each other we still say hi of course although the it isn’t the same as before but that’s just the way it is. Things will never be the same.

Lauren’s mum explained to us that recently Lauren’s dad took her sister, Chantelle away as she’s going America soon to attend acting school. Now Lauren’s dad is trying to take Lauren away from her mum. You could clearly tell how painful it was for her to even just say it, she just about got the words out of her mouth as the tears started to flow from her eyes and her hands began to shake. It broke my heart as well as her own, I gave her a hug because I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. She’s ill and is very stressed out. Taking one of her daughters was already hard even though it wasn’t out of spite as  she’s going to pursue her acting career but taking the other one too would completely destroy her. I saw Lauren the other day and I asked her if she was okay and she said no because her dad was trying to take her away and began to tear up. I already knew this was going to happen because my mum speaks to her dad sometimes but Lauren said it herself I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t really have any words of comfort/encouragement other than she can call or text me anytime she wants and she nodded sadly. As soon as Lauren’s mum explained to us the situation, that moment with Lauren came to mind. She said she feels like everyone’s against her, many people think she’s doing drugs again and if she is I really do hope she gets help soon.

Lauren’s mum told me and my step dad that her husband (they’re separated but they’re still married I have no idea why) planted drugs in her house so the solicitor can find it. Whether it’s true or not I don’t know but if it is that’s really fucked up. She also said said how she was pulling one arm of Lauren whilst her dad was pulling the other and Lauren was crying. Now THAT’S fucked up and very distressing that a young girl (she’s 16, still in secondary school – she’s a year below but I’m a few months older) has to go through such frustration, the thought of having to pick between her mum and dad isn’t a decision she wants to make as she doesn’t want to leave her mum of course.

She hopes to see me come round some time because she feels like I’m a role model to Lauren and someone she can aspire to be. I remember her saying a few months ago that Lauren said to her she wanted to be like me. Me? She wanted to be like me? Why on earth would you want to be like me?! I’m no one special, in fact I’m far from it but it’s nice to think that someone looks at me that way; it’s a wonderful feeling. It’s just timing. I’m so busy but I think I should put some time aside just to visit her as life isn’t doing any favours for her right now.

Life. A very funny thing sometimes. Complicated, odd and at times can be amusing. I’ve witnessed not only Lauren but many people who have gone through so many difficulties in life and I just wonder why? Why do people who haven’t done bad in this world suffer? And why are the people who are doing bad not suffering but enjoying life? These are questions I’ll probably never know the answer to.

Night all,

Roxy xoxo

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5 thoughts on “You can’t help everyone.

  1. Elm says:

    Oh god, that’s horrible! 😦 It’s amazing that you’re still there for her, even if you can’t do much. It’s enough to just think about her, sometimes, let her know you care.

    Liked by 1 person

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